Yesterday afternoon/evening I attended the 12th Cleveland All Pro wrestling (CAPW) Anniversary here in Cleveland, Ohio. Like all indy feds, you see the usual fans in attendance and get to see a regular core group of workers as well. Being the 12th Anniverary, brought in a cast of irregulars and first timers as well. A good portion of these tonight were simply assholes. More on them later (mostly in match reviews). Let’s get on with the show.
Warning: Long Review. If you need to use the sidebar to skip to other posts
Match 1
Chris Cronus vs. Deviant vs. Bane vs. Raymond Rowe
In this elimination match you have two perennial CAPW workers in the recently turned heel Bane and one half of the Burning River Brigade (with the injured Josh Prohibition) Raymond Rowe. The other two workers are relative newcomers to the fed Deviant (who looks a bit like Randy Orton) and the undefeated Chris Cronus. All the wrestlers in this match were heels. Rowe was trying to get Jason Bane to form an alliance with him and would look to the crowd and point to his own head as if to say he was smart. The match had a lot of fun spots such as Rowe showing the rookies how to throw a good suplex (after the fans heckled them). Eventually Bane’s temper blew and he went after Rowe. They fought there way to the back and got counted out. Cronus then picked up the win following an F5.
Match 2
Jr. Heavyweight Title Match
Dios Salvadorr vs Aero
This was a good match but could have been great. I think they may have been flustered a bot by the fans who yelled about everything but the match. Like why was it important for the fans to yell about Dios’s ninja shoes for 5 minutes? Or talk about how skinny Aero is? Or which one is gayer? Dios at least looked a lot more flustered than the masked Aero and it seemingly affected his timing a bit. In what was probably the best spot of the night Aero hit a t-bone suplex standing from the top rope but held tight as he did a moonsault himself as the landed looking like a reverse flatliner. Very cool looking. Aero is the new CAPW Jr. Heavyweight Champion.
Match 3
Ian Roth & Ryan Reicz vs. Michael Hellborn & Barry Saggitarious
This was a quarterfinals match in the CAPW tag team tournament. I’m a huge mark for Barry and especially Hellborn (formerly the BasketNazi). Together they have a lot of great chemistry as Barry is a fun loon and Hellborn is a sadistic bastard playing the father figure role to Barry. The match had a lot of fun spots and Hellborn is starting to take off as a face (despite his previous gimmick). Barry took a lot of stiff suplexes from both Ian and Ryan while Hellborn gave “stiff shots to safe places” ala Regal and Holly. At one point in the match Reicz was going to do Jericho’s springboard dropkick to Hellborn but slipped and fell down. The crowd started the “You Fucked Up” chant and Hellborn started cracking up and joined in before he and Barry double teamed Reicz. I can’t recall how but eventually Roth and Reicz picked up the win to advance to the semi-finals next month.
Match 4
Carlton Kaz & Adam Cage vs. Extreme Violence
Actually only half the team was from Extreme Violence (Perry) but I can’t recall his partner’s name for the night. Lars something? Anyway, this was a quarterfinals match as well. Extreme Violence made it this far in the tournament by losing every qualifying match up to this point. But I don’t mind because they are very good workers. I honestly don’t remember much about this match except for the crowd giving Perry’s tag partner shit for being green. It was either this match or the previous that saw a wicked as hell double team maneuver for the win. Cage and Kaz advanced to the semifinals.
Match 5
CAPW Unified Heavyweight Title Match
Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Hamrick
Buff comes out and plays the face for the match. He’s looking a little more like Puff Bagwell now. Hamrick came down to the ring with Tracy Smothers, J.T. Lightning and Krystal Frost. All four of these workers get some very strong heel heat alone but altogether it was unreal. Before the got in the ring Buff invited CAPW superfan Randy into the ring to pose which got a pop from the crowd. Randy and Hamrick are always arguing with each other. Hamrick said that was the gayest thing he had ever seen. They ripped into the crowd a bit more and the crowd went nuts. Unfortunately a few of the irregulars kept going “AAAAAAAAAAAAA” in unison to drown out everything that was said on the mic. Hamrick then diverted his attention to Buff and asked him if his mom was going to save him from the beating he was about to take. Tracy, JT and Krystal then started yelling at the crowd again which caused about 10 fans to rush to the ring. Security was kinda holding them back (they didn’t really want to get in there anyway). For the next 10 minutes the heels tore apart these fans and were yelling at them to sit down and shut up. Buff grabbed the mic to try to smooth the situation over a bit which helped. Then Hamrick grabbed the mic back and directed his attention to Buff. He said (paraphrased) “Tell me, Buff Daddy. What would you rather have? This CAPW Unified Heavyweight belt or a bottle of painkillers you drug addict? Maybe you’d be better off going back to rehab than wrestle me for the title.” Buff looked pissed and mouthed something at him. Another fan came down to the ring and whispered something to buff. Buff handed him the mic and the fan cut a better promo than 90% of the wrestlers out there today about how they should just shut up and wrestle.
The fans finally got settled down and seated and Tracy, J.T. and Krystale went to the back. The match itself was fairly basic Southern heel vs face but still effective. I’d probably put it up there as one of Buff’s best matches I have seen. Towards the end Tracy, J.T. and Krystal trried to interfere but it all flopped leading to Buff winning the match and the title. After they heels started arguing. Hamick tore them all down for botching their interferance when he’d successfully defended the belt for 7 months in a row. When he turned around he got attacked and stomped down. Buff ran in for the save and made a challenge for a tag match at the next show; Buff and Hamrick vs J.T. and Tracy with Krystal. Including last night’s show Buff is signed to appear for three months/shows. So if (ie, when) Hamrick turns on Buff in the tag match it is sure to make him look stupid.
Next we got an intermission where buff would do polaroids and signatures for $10 a person. I got some pizza and a Pepsi at this point as I started to get a headache from the fans and thought actually eating something that day might help.
Match 6
Shiima Xion & Jason Scott vs. Unknown & Virus
This was the next quarterfinals match for the tag team tournament. Unknown and Virus, aka Q&A, are very talented workers who can get a lot of heel heat with very little trouble. Motormouths, cockiness and masks are a very effective combination. Jason Scott and Shiima Xion got to the quarterfinals because Jason Scott and his partner last month, Deviant, lost their match to Cage and Kaz. I don’t get it either but I don’t care because Jason Scott has a lot of promise. Anyway, Q&A noticed that the running theme of the night from the crowd was homosexual slurs so they patted each other on the butt which got a lot of heat. The match itself was very, very good indy wrestling. Q&A are crisp as hell and are great at ring psychology. Their moves are stunning and they know how to keep fans interested besides. If I recall correctly, Q&A picked up the win with this double team move that you just had to see to understand. I can’t even begin to describe it. Q&A advance to the semifinals.
Match 7
20 Man over the top Russian Roulette Royal!
What is a Russian Roulette Rumble you ask? It’s a Royal Rumble with the time span set at 30 seconds for entrants with a bunch of wrestlers I never heard of and without the benefit of Pat Patterson booking it. Or even seemingly without the benefit of J.T. Lightning booking it beyond the entrance order and the winner. Dios worked a double shift and was in this and I believe Aero was in it as well sans mask as the Hebrew Hammer (but I could be mistaken on that one). I believe Nick Tatum won the match. It was the first dud of the night.
Match 8
JT Lightning & Tracy Smothers (with Krystal Frost) vs Justin Idol & M-Dogg 20
The last of the nights quarterfinal matchups. Before the match began we got some of the usual Tracy Smothers banter like “If I hear anybody chant “Tracy suck Tracy suck then JT is gonna get out there and slap all the men and Krystal is gonna slap all the women in the audience”. Which got the desired chant rolling. Justin Idol, for the first time I have ever heard, then grabbed the mic and cut a bit of a promo. The audience started screaming about him having a speech impediment. Assholes. Anyway, Justin and (local boy) M-Dogg 20 made it to the quarterfinals when Justin and Dios Salvatore beat Q&A and Extreme Violence two months ago. JT and Tracy made it when JT and N8 Mattson beat the Tri Chi fraternity last month.
The match was a bit of a style clash as M-Dogg is mostly high spots and Justin is highspots with a more flashy traditional style whereas the much larger JT and Tracy are almost strictly traditional workers. At one point in the match somebody asked JT what the main event was. He replied with “I’m the main event!” We all laughed then later wished it was true. We got some topes to the outside and some classic veteran heel tricks and interference by Krystal. Speaking of Krystal, during the match the fans were absolutely brutal to her. Female indy workers usually have it pretty bad but the sheer overly sexualized comments hurled at her by the fans last night was far over the line — much worse than the usual cheuvanistic comments and into a creepy ouevre of pornographic obsessiveness.
Eventually JT and Tracy picked up the win somehow (my headache must have blocked out the details) to advance. Potentially JT and Tracy can have three matches next month as the Semi-Finals and Finals of the tag tournament are scheduled to take place as well as the special challenge issued by Buff and Hamrick.
So next month we have JT Lightning/Tracy Smothers; Q&A; Roth and Reicz; and Adam Cage & Carlton Kaz in the semifinals and finals of the tag team tournament. In addition we have Tracy Smothers & JT Lightning (with Krystal Frost) vs Buff Bagwell and Chris Hamrick. If we get three match with Tracy/JT/Krystal then I’m not going to complain one bit.
Match 9
Dog Collar
Sheik Abdul Hassan vs. Dick Trimmins
And now the second half of the double main event. Normally I don’t like publicly slamming a match because I truly appreciate the work that goes into it. I appreciate that the workers busted their asses to entertain the fans. I appreciate that the bookers are trying to do right with their workers and give the fans their money worth. I appreciate people doing something that they love for people who love the same thing they do. But this feud, and in particular this match, was just plain bad.
Let’s talk about the feud history a bit. These two wrestlers, Abdul and Trimmins, were part of a tag team called Da Munchies. They were very over faces struggling to get the tag team gold. After they won it, Trimmings turned on Hassan saying he is sick of carrying the team. The next month they have their first match.
Match 1: Dick Trimmins sports a table cloth on his head like Sabu or other Muslims would wear on their head and said he is now Richard Trimmins. Sheik is now called Too Cool Abdul and started throwing Twinkies into the crowd like Trimmins used to. Mocking the former tag partner as part of a feud is ok but these two overact. Comically. Their first post-Munchies match was simply not so good. They seemingly have no in-ring chemistry together. It ended in with Trimmins cheating to win. Sheik challenged for a rematch.
Match 2: Trimmins comes out first with Muhammed Hassan’s music and sporting an Iron Sheik-esque mustache complete with the former Iraqi flag. Then Sheik comes out to “Real American” and dressed like Hogan. They put on a show more than a match which fits their workstyle better. It ended in a No-Contest due to both beating up the ref to fight each other. Sheik grabbed the mic and did a very good Hogan impression challenging for a dog collar match. It was eventually accepted. This brings us to…
Match 3 from last night: Trimmins is wearing a more traditional head gear and no mustache or flag. Sheik comes outwearing the dog collar with a long, long chain attached to it. Trimmins bails refusing to take part. They are trying for reality but it isn’t working. A couple reasons are Trimmin’s high pitched voice and Shiek smiling and acknowledging marijuana referencing signs. The referee says that if he doesn’t wrestle he will be suspended from CAPW for life as per the contract. He puts it on while on the outside and gets attacked in the classic dog collar match ways.
Eventually Trimmins is pulled back into the ring and Sheik attacks him with the chain. Except he did the protective thing where you hit just on the other side of the body so it hits the mat thing. And it was too obvious. Fans started getting noisy and filing out the door. Shiek then wraps his hand in the chain and delivers shallow punches to Trimmins head before going back to looking to the crowd and playing with the chain as if he’s setting something up. He again whips the mat on the other side of Trimmins. The crowd is pulled more and more out of the match and is shitting all over it. They go back and forth a bit and eventually start really using the chain but by this point it was too late. Sheik tries to get the crowd back by wrapping the chain around Trimmins’s head and across his eyes. I know it has to hurt but the wannabe smart marks in the crowd thinks it is still fake. Sheik throws Trimmins over the top rope and really does hang him for a while that way since Trimmins slipped off the apron.
Back in the ring the crowd is getting worse and more people are leaving. Frustration is setting in with the workers. They try whipping each other for real with the chain — hard at that — but it isn’t working. Every swing of the chain or punch is totally at random. Nothing is targeted twice and both both go from beating down the other while invincible to selling like they were shot and back again. Both men got color but the crowd thinks it is ketchup because of low flow and how the match started. Eventually Trimmins gets to the top rope, punched in the groin with about 4 feet of chain wrapped around a fist and piledriven as he is bent over from that position. Sheik won the match and hopefully the feud.
After the match Sheik tore his dog collar off and started screaming at this one loud guy in the crowd who is always there as if it was all his fault the crowd turned on the match. "GET IN THE RING BIG BOY IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER! COME ON! GET IN HERE! YOU FUCKING MARK! YOU'RE A FUCKING MARK!" he yelled much to the disbelief of everybody in attendance.
Why did this match fail to deliver so much? A number of reasons. 1) Both workers are best suited for comedy roles. They are capable of hardcore matches but they can’t help but do comedy spots in them. 2) The feud up until this match wasn’t treated as much more than comedy with some “I’m really angry”isms thrown in only at the end of the previous matches. 3) This particular match was made as both workers were parodying other characters. That setup got a pop but only because they were parodying at the time. The pop was for their portrayals — not for the potential match. 4) Neither worker convincingly sold that this match was going to be brutal going into it. Trimmins didn’t really seem scared and Sheik wasn’t convincing enough as wanting to be sadistic. And 5) The workers themselves set the “fake” stigma early on themselves by not actually using the chain and only pretending to. When the hits and spots had real moments the crowd didn’t buy into it. Even if the crowd didn’t turn on it the way it had it still would have been a bad match. There was no flow. No reason for any of the spots. No psychology or selling outside of when spots were done on them.
Granted, I am not a worker and am merely a mark myself (why else would I go see local wrestling and write about it?) but some things are blatantly obvious to even the untrained eye. Trimmins and Sheik didn’t do their homework before the match. There was nothing in this match reminiscent of Valentine/Piper, Sting/Koloff or even Raven&Stevie/Pitbulls. It was randomness and on the spot working with the gimmick. Nothing inspired, nothing delivered except obvious frustration from the workers and fan perspective. At one point in the match somebody saw JT Lightning in the concession booth gauging the match and the audience. Somebody yelled out to him and he looked over “Why did you book this match?” JT looked in the ring, smiled, and went back to counting the take in concessions.
