Sunday, August 21, 2005

WWE SummerSlam 2005 Predictions

Welcome to the next WWE pay per view predictions articles: SummerSlam 2005 edition. I'm feeling lazy and not really feeling the card this time around which is a shame since it is usually my favorite WWE event of the year. I will be doing this mostly shorthand. I'm not getting into the backstory really. I'm just going for SummerSlam and post-SummerSlam this time. Also, to entertain mostly myself, I will be doing these in the order I expect the card to play out.

Chris Benoit vs Orlando Jordan (c) - United States Championship
Prediction: Benoit busts his ass much to the crowd's approval. Orlando tries to cheat to win but fails this time around. Benoit going over to become the new United States champion.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle for the Olympic Gold Medal
Prediction: Eugene frustrates the hell out of Kurt. Kurt capitalizes on Eugene by pretending to target Christie Hemme. This leads to Angle winning back his gold medal.

Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker
Prediction: Not as fast paced as their WMXXI match-up. Orton running initially but gets caught. Slower, more methodical as the UT dictates the pace. Orton plays the bouncing rubber ball for a while, then catches UT with his groundgame. UT mounts a comeback only to catch an RKO out of nowhere. Orton wins.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy
Prediction: Matt wins but it doesn't matter. The WWE is high on Edge so he'll be moving up the ranks. If Edge doesn't stif Matt then Mat's future looks a little brighter but otherwise I don't see Matt retaining his popularity after this feud. The WWE doesn't have faith in him as more than a midcarder and he's on a very top-card heavy show in Raw. If Edge realizes that the internet writings actually served to put him over more as a heel than he previously was then he should do what he can to make Matt look like a star to help his career in turn. If he does so, Matt could be in line for an IC title feud with Carlito. We'll see.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero - Ladder Match for Custody of Dominic
Prediction: Which Eddie do we get tonight? The Eddie with workrate better than 99% of the workers out there or the Eddie trying to retain his heel heat so he'll use every heel psychology trick in his book to prevent him getting cheered? There hasn't been much in-between the past few years. I expect this to be MOTN (match of the night). I expect Eddie to win and tell Rey he can have Dominic in a post-match promo.

John Cena [c] vs. Chris Jericho - WWE Championship
Prediction: Cena botches 3 of the 4 moves he attempts. Also, plenty of rules changing mid-match by Eric Bischoff and interference from Carlito. So it's a rehash of Austin vs Dude Love from Over the Edge 1998 (thanks, Eric864, one of my usually uncredited sources) which makes sense since Cena/Bischoff is a copy of Austin/McMahon. So, anyway, Cena overcomes the odds, gives Jericho the FU and sends him packing to focus on Fozzy for a few months when Bischoff fires him post-match for not getting the job done.

Batista [c] vs. JBL - World Heavyweight Championship
Prediction: I'm holding off from a dissection of JBL's in-ring character and psychology because it won't really fit in here but it will hold this match back from being as good as it could be. Short-form: bad-ass chickenshit rarely works and it doesn't work the way JBL does it. Lots of blood. JBL with a gusher. Batista with litle more than a trickle. Orlando interferes. Batista retains.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels
Prediction: A very loud audience. HBK showing Orton how to bounce around the ring effectively. 10-15 minutes. Me being disappointed because Brian Knobbs doesn't interfere wearing the red and yellow tights. HBK eeks out a victory.

There you have it. We'll see how well I did.

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